What do you think of my writing style? be honest! XD?

I'm not all that fond of her talking to herself so blatantly as if she is speaking out loud or having a conversation. It isn't subtle or smooth and it breaks up the flow of the writing. In fact it distances me from the character because I find it more and more annoying. By the time she meets up with the dog I'm so sick of her narrating the story in her head that I gave up. Granted not every reader will be so harsh. Some may enjoy it. I happen to think it is too blunt. It doesn't read well. I this was in a movie or a television show it might play out better but as a book it is missing something.